Certainty

27 July 2018 - 21:35

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Hi all
I've read in many books that no one can have complete certainty. However in regards to ocd intrusive thoughts/false memory why is it that a 'normal' person could have a thought e.g did I knock that pedestrian over or did I kiss that person and then seemingly be CERTAIN that it was just a crap thought and carry on with their day never to think it again. Why does the ocd brain refuse to see logic.
Feeling frustrated

28 July 2018 - 10:41

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Hello,

When I have an intrusive thought, my mind feels confused in that moment for a few seconds, then I start to realize that thought wasn't my thought and it wasn't real. It was just an intrusive thought that has nothing to do with my rationality. 

OCD isn't about something logic, OCD is just irrationality. Once the OCD episode is gone your brain realizes that those intrusive thoughts weren't your thoughts and you move on. 

28 July 2018 - 20:38

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Hi
You say your intrusive thoughts only last for a few seconds. Is that due to you having therapy? My intrusive thoughts can last anything from a couple of hours to weeks.

This post has been thanked 1 time. 29 July 2018 - 13:05

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Hi,

An ocd sufferer will likely react with anxiety and be stuck in that uncomfortable zone until applying compulsion(s) at the attempt to reduce the awful stress whereas a non sufferer will let as thought float by and most likely be in touch with self identity and be able to know it was a random meaningless thought. Personally I think intrusive thought is a fair wording but perhaps when you become obsessed with a theme it can be yourself scanning, testing and so forth. Almost like we are obsessed with certainty, the right feeling, our true self. Perhaps we feel so akin to the thought because we've times into it, we are always obsessing so we are wires to receive more intrusive thoughts but also thoughts we create, all the while it's ocd but we feel like some are def us and not ocd because they're so often. It's all ocd at play.

In terms of how long the thought may last I'm not sure if you're talking about the duration of the moment of the initial thought or how long you may ruminate on it. I've found the initial thought can be negated very quickly with compulsive rumination (very bad practise as not a good strategy at all) or more likely the rumination will lead to a machine gun of thoughts which then fuel the fire and also require rumination asap. I can still remember trigger events from decades ago and still ruminate on them as if they are relevant now. I think this is one of ocd most skilful lie, in that each time a thought occurs we feel like it is saying that every single other time it's occurred before in any guise it was all actually true. In other words, each thought has the weight of the total obsession.

So just know that it's a cunning thing ocd and there's probably a lot of differences going on person to person but we are all dealing with factors which mean we have obsessions, we react differently to 'normal people' and compulsions are our way of dealing with hellish anxiety. Same ocd different themes.

This post has been thanked 1 time. 29 July 2018 - 13:07

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Hi,

My intrusive thoughts are fast and short. I can have many intrusive thoughts a day, but they are fast and short -they last few seconds or 2 minutes- and they come back in my mind after some time.

My mind feels confused and anxious in the moment I have the intrusive thought, but that doesn't last much. After that I can rationalize it was just an intrusive thought --I feel better for a period of time, but OCD comes back and gives me again intrusive thoughts and fears.

My only therapy is writing what I feel --the intrusive thoughts-- and drinking mood improving teas so I have less anxiety and intrusive thoughts don't occur as much in a day. 

What I'm saying is that I'm not focusing much time on intrusive thoughts (when those thoughts come in my mind they are very fast and short lasting). After I have an intrusive thought I focus rationalizing it just some minutes, and then I let it go, but that obsessive thought still comes back after some time, and when it comes back I do the same -- I spend just some minutes analyzing that thought.

This post has been thanked 1 time. 29 July 2018 - 13:19

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In the past months my mind used to be focused 24/24 hours on those intrusive thoughts. I couldn't do tasks that required mental effort because of OCD --this disorder was simply sucking my rationality, filling my mind with obsessions-- I was so exhausted. I failed in highschool because of OCD.

I couldn't focus on real things, what was in my mind were just obsessions. I struggled with magical thinking compulsions. So horrible. All I heard in my mind was : if you don't return in your bed in 3 minutes something bad will happen, if you do a thing now something bad will happen because it's a bad time and you have to do nothing, if the bus doesn't come in 3 minutes you are sick-- and so on. This was so horrible. I felt like I will be like this all my life. 

Now I got over magical thinking compulsions and obsessions, they still somehow strike in my mind, but I deny them and they vanish from my memory. I'm still struggling with intrusive thoughts at this moment, but my mind is not 24/24 on obsessions as it used to be in the past.

This post has been thanked 1 time. 29 July 2018 - 13:24

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Hi Astrid,

Not attending to the thought is good practise and then reflecting post any anxiety.

Just be sure you're not quickly thinking about it to feel right, to nip it in the bud, hence it coming back. This is what I do and I'm working towards acceptance without any analysing. What I'm doing is like a little plaster each time and it's not very good. I'm not saying you're doing anything wrong as I wouldn't be bold enough to do that and you sound intelligent and insightful enough to manage it but we have to work on no analysing ever...

Accepting with no analysing feels like walking into hell but it's key to long term freedom.

This post has been thanked 1 time. 29 July 2018 - 13:32

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Astrid,

Just read your last post...my heart goes out to you whilst being so proud of you. You're a tough cookie for sure.

Don't forget it's same ocd no matter what the theme. It's a single illness and it loves to wander about finding what really bothers you.

It can be overcome, mine is now episodal and has been non stop or hardly there at times. We need to keep an eye on when we are susceptible etc.

There are however beautiful things from ocd. I have generally found every single sufferer to be thoughtful, extremely articulate and amongst the most genuinely caring and nice characters I know.

I love how we can see someone has ocd just from their writing a post.

29 July 2018 - 13:36

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Hello njb1,

I heard of what you are saying, the 'accept the thoughts and let them go' practice but I never tried that as my magical thinking OCD is telling me: if you dare to accept those thoughts they will happen. And this is why I never tried this. I try to avoid this magical thinking as much as I can, I want it to be gone. I'm feeling good the way I do spending less and less time on ruminating over obsessions. Slowly recovering, feeling better. 

But I hate that whenever I'm feeling good OCD comes in my mind saying: you shouldn't be feeling good, anxiety and stress is your real mood. And this annoys me I want to know if this is normal, having this intrusive -more like a feeling- thought. 

This post has been thanked 1 time. 29 July 2018 - 14:55

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If you manage to accept the thoughts and move on let me know how you did it as I find it tough!

Nice chatting to you.

Njb1

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