Article on P's and guilt making me confused *Trigger*

13 June 2019 - 14:46

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So I just read an article on vice which https://www.vice.com/en_uk/article/yvxkpv/realizing-youre-a-pedophile-can-make-you-want-to-kill-yourself

80% of P's experience depression because of their sexuality with 90% saying they had thought about killing themselves and 20% saying they have tried to commit suicide and that most P's don't offend as they know that their sexuality is wrong.

"Many people who commit sex crimes against children are not paedophiles – they are situational offenders who are actually more attracted to peers. Likewise, many paedophiles never act on their attraction because they don't want to hurt children."

A lot of them worry about the urge and desire not to download CP and having to resist temptation. 

Now I'm scared that I'm just resisting the urge to do things because I know that they are wrong rather than actually not wanting to do it if that makes sense. 

I have a diagnosis for OCD and I know I get intrusive thoughts about really random things but this subject of thoughts has been coming back for around 16 years and I have weird dreams about this most nights so how do I know that this set of thoughts isn't me?

13 June 2019 - 19:40

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Wish I didn't read this now as this triggered me. But you have to realise is that this article might of been written by someone who doesn't know about pocd. Have you considered those worrying are actually suffering from pocd and arnt true ps?
Also ps are depressed, yes because of how they can't act on their attraction. They don't hide or get scared when seeing a young one they don't have the anxiety. I try to convince myself that the guys on the post are not true ps and they're just suffering with pocd but my ocd is not letting me think this way and is giving me the worst scenario.

13 June 2019 - 20:20

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But that's the thing everyone interviewed admits that they are a P. Most of the P's are saying they're depressed not because they can't act on there thoughts but because they didn't choose to be this way and have to constantly try and repress their urges and how isolated from society it makes them. They can't have 'normal' lives were they get to marry and have kids and that most P's don't actually want to hurt children. It also says a lot of actual abusers also have attractions to their own age groups.

Its the fact that so many of them are saying they have to repress their urges and thats what is worrying me. How do we know whats an OCD thought or Urge and what is actual P?

13 June 2019 - 22:55

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Idk I hope someone responds because this has really terrified me. Have you considered that those interviewed don't know about ocd? And that they're suffering from pocd instead? Again I wouldn't read articles as they're written by journalists. Therapists know much more about this stuff than journalists

13 June 2019 - 23:53

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The statistics in the article are from therapists and a study that was done and not from the journalists that's why I linked the article. All people interviewed knew they were p's and admitted it but they just didn't want to offend as they know it is wrong. They weren't questioning if they are they're just trying to repress and control the urges they have. That's what scares me how do I know whats OCD now?

This post has been thanked 2 times. 14 June 2019 - 7:04

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Hello. I am new here, but not new to OCD. I’ve been in the same place and also surprised...

The one difference about a P is that they feel absolutely sure of what they have. 

An OCD person is different in that will toil over thoughts like “Does that count as bad?” 

And often OCD thoughts are ones that a person has never even heard of in real life— making it worse—because they think

“I hate myself that I thought of that on my own...”

But really I think often the issue is the severity of the thoughts themselves and how easy it is to imagine bad things. Then even if the ocd is gone, the shame/guilt may come back. Then there is the confusion of whether feeling bad about it is what is keeping you “safe” ... Some days will be good, like it was all just a weird time. Then other days it’s like the times came back.

Since “P” are currently the worst in the society, we fear it the most or at least, the label. But focus on who you want to be—apart from finding a label. In the end, what matters more is how you overcame whatever it is. 

If you feel like you are not sure of your thoughts say:

“I’m already winning by NOT validating this thought” or “Yeah I thought of something I’d never do” ...It’ll take time and there migh be thoughts that are worse, that have to keep coming back and readjusting. 

 

 

This post has been thanked 2 times. 14 June 2019 - 11:12

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I think the difference between someone who identifies with being a paedophile and someone with pocd, is that we (pocd sufferers) are in doubt as to whether we are a paedophile or not, and are terrified of being one. People who recognise they are paedophiles don't have any doubt about It...they may fear acting out and feel awful about it (and my heart really goes out to them), but they aren't frightened that they 'might be a paedophile'.... there is no doubt for them which is an intrinsic symptom in OCD....it is known as the doubting disease....?

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