acted on harm ocd urge when i was 12

14 August 2019 - 21:32

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when i was 12 years old i had these horrible images in my head of choking my dog and it terrified me. i literally got urges to do it and one time i placed my hand over my dog’s neck to see if i would go through with it. i know that’s a compulsion but it just terrifies me because what if i squeezed too hard and hurt him? i remember squeezing slightly but it just made me freak out more and i made my mom put him in another room because i thought i would kill him. i know it was wrong to do that and i feel horrible now. i’m basically an animal abuser

14 August 2019 - 23:00

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No-one deserves to suffer for something they did when they were twelve. Try and let go of it. I seriously doubt you harmed the animal or even upset him. I think as OCDers we often have an "overactive conscience" and won't let ourselves have peace like another person would have probably just forgotten it?

15 August 2019 - 8:37

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You said it yourself, its just a compulsion. I seriously doubt you had any negative effect on him. And also, you said you did it to see if you went through with it, and you didn't did you aside from all of this, this was when you were 12, i know its hard but try not to ruminate on the past. You have done absolutely nothing wrong and im sure if you were a so called animal abuser you wouldn't be anxious at the thought of hurting an animal. Be kind to yourself xx

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