30 October 2018 - 22:23
Hi, so I’ll try not to make this too long I’m just really confused and I’m making this post to hear if someone maybe have been through something similar? Because I have no idea what’s going on. Basically my therapist is 100% sure I have Pure ocd, and I’ve talked with some specialists and they want to continue to see me, so I guess that makes the chance that this actually is Pure ocd a little bigger. In the beginning the thoughts was very frightening and I felt like the worst human being ever (I still do). And I’ve had like three topics that have scared me a lot or that I’ve thought was very uncomfortable and disgusting. I cried a lot and I was very depressed and suicidal at one point. But now I’m only stuck with mostly two topics, some times I just start crying out of the blue and feeling like I want to die, but other times I can just look at myself in the mirror when I have the thoughts and just not get any anxiety just feel like that’s who I am and I wouldn’t care if these awful things even happened. I just think of myself as a bad human being. And just someone who’s very toxic and someone everyone should stay away from. Why are my mood swings like this? I thought that when you had ocd you worried .. all the time... I didn’t think there would’ve times where I didn’t care at all and just thought that it’s who I am. Have anyone been like this? I don’t know what to do.