Accepting that I’m a really toxic human being?

30 October 2018 - 22:23

Profile Image
Forum User
Join date: Aug 2018
Thanks: 95

Hi, so I’ll try not to make this too long I’m just really confused and I’m making this post to hear if someone maybe have been through something similar? Because I have no idea what’s going on. Basically my therapist is 100% sure I have Pure ocd, and I’ve talked with some specialists and they want to continue to see me, so I guess that makes the chance that this actually is Pure ocd a little bigger. In the beginning the thoughts was very frightening and I felt like the worst human being ever (I still do). And I’ve had like three topics that have scared me a lot or that I’ve thought was very uncomfortable and disgusting. I cried a lot and I was very depressed and suicidal at one point. But now I’m only stuck with mostly two topics, some times I just start crying out of the blue and feeling like I want to die, but other times I can just look at myself in the mirror when I have the thoughts and just not get any anxiety just feel like that’s who I am and I wouldn’t care if these awful things even happened. I just think of myself as a bad human being. And just someone who’s very toxic and someone everyone should stay away from. Why are my mood swings like this? I thought that when you had ocd you worried .. all the time... I didn’t think there would’ve times where I didn’t care at all and just thought that it’s who I am. Have anyone been like this? I don’t know what to do. 

This post has been thanked 1 time. 2 November 2018 - 18:33

Profile
Forum User
Join date: Nov 2018
Thanks: 19

hello, i’m sorry you are going through this and i want you to know you are not alone. this sounds like me 100% and i’m actually suffering with the same thing as you right now and also my therapist said that the ocd will try and make you feel like you are the thoughts meaning when you get know anxiety it will try and make you feel like them. and it’s soooo annoying and we all know we would never do anything awful like that. it’s just hard because your always doubting your self 24/7 and it is the worst. mine always says maybe you want these and is like yeah you should do this or something awful and terrible that i would never do. but i want you to know you are not your thoughts and you will NOT act on these stay strong and we are all together in this. 

This post has been thanked 1 time. 2 November 2018 - 18:34

Profile
Forum User
Join date: Nov 2018
Thanks: 19

i also get mood swings all the time too so don’t worry your gonna be okay 

2 November 2018 - 22:21

Profile
Forum User
Join date: Aug 2018
Thanks: 95

Thank you so much for taking the time to write to me. It means a lot. I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through this as well. I hope you get better soon and will have a happy and bright future! And again, thank you! 

This post has been thanked 1 time. 3 November 2018 - 0:17

Profile
Forum User
Join date: Nov 2018
Thanks: 19

of course we all have to stick together! thank you you too! 

3 November 2018 - 20:15

Profile
Forum User
Join date: Aug 2018
Thanks: 95

❤️

4 November 2018 - 0:38

Forum User
Location: California!
Join date: Jul 2016
Thanks: 1470

Quote:
The guy that coined the phrase Pure O said he just made it up & there is no scientific basis behind it. People just have obsessions. Those are quite common. 

Reply to this topic