Thinking I stepped on a needle

1 July 2014 - 11:05

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Hi,

i have written before due to my OCD of a different nature (thinking I've cheated) but this is something I am even more concerned about and it evolves around my fear of being stabbed with an infected needle. 

I'm not on any meds at the mo and have had OCD since I was 11. Started with fear of catching a disease from blood then has changed to a fear of syringes or needles. 

i check seats, the floor, even supermarkets shelves, it affects me every day.

This weekend a poor guy collapsed on the street, where I live. They think he had a diabetic collapse of some sort as the passing nurse found diabetic products in his bag including the glucose injections etc. anyway in the rush, the nurse checked his bloods (finger prick for blood) while waiting for the ambulance. In his rush I think he threw the finger needle lancet on the floor, though I'm not sure if it was the needle or the plastic around the needle (I just remembering it sitting there on the pavement). Anyhow the ambulance came and they took his bloods too and the guy was then put in the ambulance and taken off. 

We were really concerned and hopefully he's okay. Yesterday, my boyfriend parked up in the car next to where it happened the day previous. As I got out the car, I felt something jab me in the foot (though I was wearing pumps on my feet). I got in the house and started panicking that it was the lancet from the day before. I then panicked that I had a needle in my shoe (because they are shoes that seem to pick up every little pebble) And started shaking out my shoes. I noticed a little red puncture mark under my foot but no blood, so not sure if the puncture mark was there before or not? It looked like a blood spot under the skin. I started getting really upset so my boyfriend checked where I walked by the car and couldn't see anything there. Anyway worried that it wasn't there because I'd brought it in on my shoes I started brooming and hoovering the house and I imagined I sucked up the blue lancet....surely I was just imaging things where I was stressed? Surely I would have noticed if this was in my shoe?

I'm really panicking and don't know what to do. I fear my boyfriend is going to leave me because of my behaviour but what if I was stabbed by it? I have no idea and I'm scared that I could have caught something? Of course even if I did step on it, the likelihood the guy had anything is so small but I'm really scared and need some advice! Thanks 

3 July 2014 - 14:36

dav
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Hi , either go the docs and get a blood test or its ur ocd playing tricks on you.dave

3 July 2014 - 15:04

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I used to get these particular fears a lot.  Multiple times every day for several years on end.  You KNOW it's your OCD doing this, but i know how difficult it can be to pursuade yourself this is the case.

I have written a blogpost on very similar issue called 'OUT DAMNED SPOT', but not sure i'm allowed to link to it here.   It's on my compulsivflyer wordpress blog that's easy to find on google.

This was one of the main anxieties i tackled in my CBT sessions, including walking on the beach with my psychologist doing direct exposure treatment. IT WORKS!

 

8 July 2014 - 11:59

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Hi

I think you know it is your ocd putting the thought in your head. I have suffered with this same thing for myself or my kids say if they get a cut on the foot out playing. Cbt and exposure to this would really help you I reckon.  I still get blips of worry but that problem is under control right now. I have accepted uncertainty but chances of it being a needle and secondary getting an illness are minute the risk is tiny but you hzvd to accept uncertainty in life and continue your life living with those uncertainties.

I'm sorry your boyfriend is struggling it's hard for friends and family as well as us.

Take care Sus

8 July 2014 - 12:25

dav
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Hi again,ITS UR OCD and u know it dont let it mess u about! Dave.

8 July 2014 - 15:07

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Don't give up hope on this one.

4 years ago i could barely walk to the shops and would take 20 minutes (and countless back and forths) to do a 2 minute walk.  I also used to wear steel toed and soled safety shoes at all times to feel 'safe'

I now run 30+ miles a week, did a marathon this year and also some off road mud races, where i was waist deep in mud and water for up to 50 metres at a time.

CBT works.

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