Restricting food as a compulsion?

20 August 2019 - 13:59

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I notice that whenever I'm having an OCD attack/flare-up I restrict my food compulsively. I have the feeling that if I eat food, nourish myself and enjoy food that my OCD fears will turn out to be true. It almost feels like some kind of OCD-eating disorder.

I've recently had a HIV OCD relapse, worrying that I caught HIV from a very low risk encounter 7 years ago, and I've taken 2 tests since then (BioSURE self test, 99.7% accurate) and they were both negative, confirmed by the CEO of the company's daughter and another high-up employee, obviously it doesn't reassure me because you can't beat OCD with reassurance but I just wanted some proof that I was in the clear, and I am, I just struggle to believe it. During this time, I haven't been letting myself eat much at all, and even when I do eat I get a lot of anxiety and the OCD is like "if you eat this, enjoy yourself and forget the thoughts then they'll turn out to be true", and I've been trying to push through, but I was just wondering if anyone else has had anything similar? 

20 August 2019 - 19:27

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Eating lowers anxiety because the brain assumes you are in safety when you eat.

20 August 2019 - 23:17

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I have also struggled with restrictive eating, however I’m not sure if mine gets worse when my OCD does. Try to remember that your body needs nutrients—although I get that it’s easy not to! Stay strong. 

8 September 2020 - 1:48

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this is very late but i go through something very similar. i feel like doing anything to nourish or comfort myself is immediately shut down by the self hatred and disgust that comes along with my form of ocd. you are not alone. red velvet cake is my favorite and i couldn’t eat a piece the other week because my brain said i don’t deserve to enjoy it 

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