At a loss

8 July 2014 - 17:05

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I am so petrified that I'll say and imply bad about my dad. Iv had a few days off work because I am so bad. Trying to stay strong but not feeling it at all. Cried for a few days straight. 

I just can Suss what part is the intrusive thought and when to let go. Mum and dad both know that my OCD is about whether or not I believe my dad has done or said bad and whether I voice it accordingly. Of course he isn't and at all and had never done or said anything. But I either make stuff up or making something of nothitn and turn Innoncent things into not so Innoncent in my head so I feel I am so dangerous.  But like the other day as an example. Mum said ohhh and I knew it was something trivial- either the dog or tv and I said 'what? Dad? Yeah'. And I am trying not to ruminate over why I said it, what I meant ot wanted to implicate and how it was taken by mum and whether I think I can say what I want because she knows it's my OCD talking' but I know all I need is a minute to think it over and iv got words in my head seemingly proving to me that I meant bad and it was taken bad and I don't get which part is OCD and whih isn't

This post has been thanked 1 time. 8 July 2014 - 20:50

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Hi Megan

You must always remember that because your dad is a very caring individual that your mind will probably try to make you doubt this all the time, When everything seems in words fine and you are content that's when the ocd starts to make you think no everything is not fine.

It sounds like you have been battling this ocd for a long time did you get these type of thoughts in the past? The reason I ask that one is we sometimes need to explore ourselves a bit more for example I used to get these type of urges or thoughts about sticking a pencil into a wire or other things such as biting a wire and I started acting on these thoughts and once I done that I felt so bad and I was thinking to myself why did you do that Graeme. (It was a scary time as I was about 13 as you can imagine a 13 year old having those type of thoughts that was just horrible)

The reason I was mentioning about my past experience is I feel that it is a good way to look at things, You could ask yourself the same question what thoughts used to trouble you in the past and that way you can understand yourself a bit better. (I konw it may seem a strange post but if we know what we are up against that's only going to be a positive I feel)

You need to try and avoid labeling yourself as dangerous, Think about this one Megan all the things you have posted have not been anything bad or you have not implied anything bad about dad and this is something you must remember.

I sure hope you are getting the right support I would maybe think about talking to someone over the phone maybe contact ocd action, You are struggling you deserve the support.

(Ocd Action contact information)

8 July 2014 - 21:07

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Hi Megz,

sorry for a super reply- but tour post is simmilar/same to your previous onres so it would be were marking them as favourites and reading the replika you have recoeved there.

8 July 2014 - 22:23

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Quote:
I don't get which part is OCD and which isn't

All of it!  In the spirit of Boowoo's posting, I'll just say: http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forum/ocd-and-intrusive-thoughts/rumination     (4th, 5th & 6th posts are the ones I mean.)

Sorry to hear you're still having trouble and not yet been able to stop worrying about this, but good to hear from you.  I'd noticed you hadn't posted for a while and was just thinking of asking you how you were.  Are you getting any CBT yet?

All the best,

Wombat140

9 July 2014 - 12:00

dav
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Hi,phone ocd action and have a chat with them thats wat i would do.wat support/help r u recieving? Dave.

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