Losing my mind

1 December 2014 - 14:55

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Location: England
Join date: Dec 2014
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Hello there,

This is the first time I have posted online regarding my OCD. 

I have a fear of losing things. I am constantly checking where I go in case I drop things, or leave things behind somewhere, and because people can see my behaviour it adds to my anxiety and makes me check even more, so I avoid going out as much as possible. 

It takes me a long time to leave the house because I have to check my clothing and count how many things I take out with me (repeatedly), so that I will know if I lose something, but even this doesn't reassure me enough.

It takes up so much time and energy that it's easier to stay indoors. But even that is no escape. I worry about throwing things in the bin, or even losing something down the plug hole. I have so many doubts sometimes I can take hours replaying things in my head.

I also have a fear of contamination which means I avoid touching door handles, eating out, using public facilities etc.

I don't take medication for the risk of having side affects. I have tried some though and they didn't work anyway.

I had CBT but it didn't really help me. I've just tried to manage to live with it, still hopeful some day I will beat it.

Thanks for reading.

27 December 2014 - 22:33

Forum User
Location: London, England
Join date: Nov 2009
Thanks: 222

Hi name,

Sorry no one has replied to your post, I've been off the forums for a while and so have only just seen your post.

Checking and contamination OCD is a real pain isn't it? I too have similar problems but am really starting to improve and get my life back.

I found that by building up my confidence and self-esteem I was better able to trust my judgement rather than that of the OCD.

I also went on a Mindfulness Based Cognitive Therapy course which enabled me to better implement the CBT as like you I found the CBT wasn't much help. Now I'm able to use the CBT to good effect. 

I hope that this helps

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