How do I stop making too much of fighting it?

This post has been thanked 1 time. 18 October 2014 - 23:08

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Haven't been on here for a while.  It's awkward; when I'm having a bad time with the OCD and can't be bothered with anything, I can't be bothered to explain what the problem is - it's usually fiddly to explain!

The problem I'm finding at the moment is that I'm always fighting the OCD - if I didn't fight to try and make the compulsion stop each time, it would just go on and on indefinitely.  And that makes it hard to find the extra energy to go one further and fight one to actually not do it at all, and get rid of it.  Does anyone else find this?  Advice?

Also, whenever I try to tackle my OCD, I get bogged down in thinking about whether I'm thinking about it the right way or not.  Trying to find the "right" attitude to get past the OCD has become a compulsion in itself, I think - but I don't know how to stop it.  If I try to "just not think about it too much" or to "drop it for the moment", I start fiddling with that also.  Has anyone else found this?  What can I do about it?  It's a Catch-22.  I don't know what to do with this at all, and it's exhausting.

Thanks very much,

Wombat140

19 October 2014 - 22:46

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Hi Wombat

It sure is exhausting the thoughts that we get. (I might have a go if I can, might not be much help)

One thing that got me thinking was if we understood ourself and our thoughts better we may be able take the right steps. We all have our own unique ways of going about things and also when it comes to ocd, the ocd sometimes is very unique to the individual, no two individuals will be having the exact same thought pattern. (Noticed how I mention thought pattern instead of thoughts in general).

A good way of putting is, I sort of believe there has to be a reason behind our actions and I know at times this can be tricky to find. In my scenario I have a couple of different themes in my mind some I don't feel comfortable talking about others I do. As a harm ocd sufferer myself I imagine myself doing a horrible act trying to figure out if it is my true desires so to say.

I think I can understand the reason why I think like this but for the life of me it would probably be hard for me to explain.

Remember it's not about whether you can explain it but whether you understand your own thoughts, why you are getting the thoughts and steps you could maybe take to tackle the thoughts. What is it that's making you feel uneasy about the thoughts? If we can find the answer or reason behind that one that's a positive. I do believe there is a reason behind most things although it may seem like there is no reason at all.

Quote:
Also, whenever I try to tackle my OCD, I get bogged down in thinking about whether I'm thinking about it the right way or not. Trying to find the "right" attitude to get past the OCD

I might be only at the tip of the iceberg and there may be deeping things happening but lets examine this more. Thinking about it in the right way as to thinking about it in the wrong way, does it feel that you have to follow certain steps in an organised fashion? Sorry I may of not explained that well but lets use me as the example again, I tend to think about a solution for A before I get to solution B. Only sometimes I start off with finding a solution for B first then finding one for A but it causes more stress. (If that makes sense) It's because we are not thinking about things in the right order.

And interesting as you mentioned about finding the right attitude, when you mentioned this it gives me the impression that you are comparing yourself to how others would think if they had the same thoughts, mind you I may of not understood what was meant. (If possible could you elaborate on the finding the right attitude to thoughts). That would be very interesting as I don't think I've understood that one correctly.

It's good talking to you Wombat, There's always an answer to things. 

20 October 2014 - 18:53

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Hi Wombat. Yes! I too get caught in an OCD soup and then it's like all my thoughts are about OCD and also trying to figure out the magic solution - solution being thinking about OCD in a specific way...no idea what that is of course. Best I can is try and step away from my thoughts....and trust that the important stuff will be ok and my input isn't essential. Phew, it's like going round in circles at times but I do now recognise a pattern to my OCD which, as grams88 mentioned helps....like I can say, oh never mind it's only my OCD again....? Some days it's easier than others. You are definitely not on your own this this..take care. 

20 October 2014 - 21:56

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Hi Grams and CallmeAl, thanks very much for the replies.  Glad to hear that this does exist, it makes it seem more possible to deal with. 

No, mine isn't about doing particular steps, it's more jiggling my thoughts around until it "feels right".  Like CallmeAl, I'm not clear what the definition of "right" is supposed to be, except "until the ocd shuts up"!  (Not giving ocd capital letters, it doesn't deserve them!    )

When I say that about "the right attitude", I don't mean compared to other people particularly.  It's more that I'll find a way of thinking about it that allows me to get past the ocd (be it thinking "what if I didn't have ocd?" or "Do it and take the consequences." or "What would a sane person do here?" or any number of other variations), that's a good trick in itself, but for me, very quickly it becomes an ocd thing in its own right.  It turns into trying to arrange my thoughts in exactly that way before I can get past it, and not only think it but feel the part as well, and of course ocd will claim that it's "not quite right" even when it is.  Ah well.  Best of luck to you both, and I hope we all get over it soon!  You're right, it does help just to talk about it. 

Best wishes

Wombat140

23 October 2014 - 12:25

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Hi wombat140, I totally understand the "jiggling thoughts about until it feels right ". I can't rest and relax until o get that feeling. I don't think it can be forced annoyingly ! . I tried for a month and then decided I needed a new tactic. I stayed with my messy horrible thought situation , it was extremely unpleasant but I tried to think normally around it! Along side. It was close to torture, but I continued. A month on that just right feeling is there , but I've earnt that feeling in a different way ! . I did it through acceptance , It reminded me of how I recovered before, I had ten years of relative normality following this path. This probably sounds a load of rubbish but it struck a cord with me . Take care and wishing u courage                                                                  

All the best  

24 October 2014 - 17:58

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Hi Carli,

Am not together enough at the moment to reply at length, but I just wanted to say thanks for the reply, it's really welcome to know that somebody else is out there cheering me on.  Feel so on my own with all this sometimes, despite everything.  (My family are great, but for various OCD reasons it's difficult to talk about it face to face much without it ending up with worse trouble.)  And you're quite right of course.

Ah well, onwards and upwards - for both of us!  Hope you're getting on OK yourself.

Wombat140

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