Has anyone else experienced this?!

This post has been thanked 1 time. 16 July 2014 - 3:17

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Have you found that your ocd "tricks" you into thinking or believing you have done something wrong?  Would this be considered a false memory or thought action fusion? I have only experienced this a few times, but I feel as though an intrusive thought will precede an action and then I feel as if I have done something wrong! In that moment, I try to tell myself that it is not me and that it's my ocd, but this only helps for a little while before I begin the compulsions. 

I am always second guessing myself. Has anyone else ever experienced this? It's a horrible feeling, I'm hoping someone can relate. 

Thank you!

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25 July 2014 - 11:17

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Hi Surrender ... Thanks very much for your reply. But I'm not sure I understand what you're saying. If I let my thoughts have free rein in that situation, my anxiety gets worse because I end up imagining all sorts of horrible things that may have happened (but that probably didn't) and I start inventing false memories, and the incident seems more and more threatening. My frightening thoughts multiply so that what started out as a trickle ends up like a tsunami, and I become a gibbering wreck. But if I manage to blank my mind for 1 minute before allowing my thoughts to run wild, the incident doesn't seem so serious or threatening, and my imagination usually doesn't spiral out of control. However, blanking my mind sounds like burying my head in the sand and avoiding facing reality, which doesn't sound healthy to me. So I wondered if you or anyone else had a set procedure to follow when these incidents arise, ie. do you try to steer your thoughts in a particular direction or just put your mind into passive mode?

26 July 2014 - 4:36

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I too relate to Goofy. My mind often runs through what ifs all the time. For instance if I'm cutting carrots with a sharp knife I imagine cutting through my finger and seeing blood and calling 911. The vision is so strong that I feel like it's actually happening, I get dizzy and I get bad anxiety. I also have very vivid and dramatic dreams and often can't distinguish whether or not something was a bad dream or it actually happened because the memory of the dream is so strong.

This post has been thanked 1 time. 26 July 2014 - 17:36

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Goofy, I sent you a message. Isabella, I know exactly what you mean. It's so weird, almost movie-like. Makes it very hard to distinguish and immediately you wonder. The dreams don't bother me so much, other than the theme of the dreams. They don't so much carry over the feeling that it feels real. I wake up in a panic, and sometimes sick, but thank goodness they don't feel real, as the moments do when I am triggered. Thank you for your kind worlds regarding my daughter. She is a very special little girl, as we all are with this disorder. Just kind, compassionate, loving people who worry just a "little too much." Ha..

26 July 2014 - 17:38

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**"words", not "worlds"

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