Has anyone else experienced this?!

This post has been thanked 1 time. 16 July 2014 - 3:17

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Have you found that your ocd "tricks" you into thinking or believing you have done something wrong?  Would this be considered a false memory or thought action fusion? I have only experienced this a few times, but I feel as though an intrusive thought will precede an action and then I feel as if I have done something wrong! In that moment, I try to tell myself that it is not me and that it's my ocd, but this only helps for a little while before I begin the compulsions. 

I am always second guessing myself. Has anyone else ever experienced this? It's a horrible feeling, I'm hoping someone can relate. 

Thank you!

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This post has been thanked 1 time. 16 July 2014 - 3:27

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Its  almost as if my thoughts and my actions get confused or mixed up at times.      

This post has been thanked 2 times. 16 July 2014 - 13:55

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Hi Surrender,

Yes, this happens to me frequently every day. For example, in the context of my fear of contamination, if my hand happens to move close to a 'dirty' object, I think about the hypothetical event of my hand touching that object. Even though my hand didn't actually touch it, my thought of it touching gets confused with my perception of it not touching, and I struggle to distinguish between the two. Since my thought about the occurrence of contact is charged with anxiety but my perception of non-contact is not emotionally charged, the former makes a bigger impression on my mind and seems more immanent. Is this the sort of thing that you are referring to?

Goofy

This post has been thanked 1 time. 16 July 2014 - 14:07

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Yes! Thank you Goofy! The anxiety is just so overwhelming, it seems to distort reality! I hate it. My doctor said that it is something called thought action fusion, but of course, my ocd wants to tell me that "I'm the only one this happens to!"   

This post has been thanked 1 time. 16 July 2014 - 16:33

dav
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Hi there,u are not alone in this mate its happened to me and probably alot ov other peeps with ocd get a similar/same thing too.Dave

16 July 2014 - 16:36

dav
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Too goofy,i get that and thats a very good way to describe wat goes on in the mind ov us ocd sufferers! Dave

This post has been thanked 1 time. 16 July 2014 - 16:41

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Hi Surrender

I am the same as Goofy in the context with my fear of contamination, I will think that things have touched even when in reality they could not possibly have done so, they can be inches apart or even more.  Goofy you have described and put into words what happens to me so accurately - “my thought of it touching gets confused with my perception of it not touching, and I struggle to distinguish between the two in my mind”. I feel the that the thought of a possibility that something had occurred is so anxiety fuelled it makes the most impact. This has been happening to me today, I have try to reason with myself but my anxieties are on a high and rational thinking is impossible.

Goofy you have really put into words what I have been struggling to explain, thank you. 

This post has been thanked 2 times. 16 July 2014 - 17:32

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Hi there, I have this if i walk past a refuse bin, or too close to a lamppost when carrying shopping bags. Even when someone brushes past me on the bus. The ocd makes me feel contaminated, or my bags, that I then need to store in the pantry when I get home. The thoughts get stronger and stronger, and then they either fade away, or I react by cleaning everything... It isn't easy, this ocd is it? 

This post has been thanked 1 time. 16 July 2014 - 17:53

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Thank you all so much for your words. It is so nice to know that I am not alone in this. Just when I think I am getting better, it seems the ocd just gets louder. Thank you all again & God Bless

This post has been thanked 1 time. 17 July 2014 - 11:51

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Yes, it's helpful to know that other people can identify with this bizarre experience. It confirms to me that these phantom beliefs are only a figment of my imagination and not real occurrences.

So how do you deal with it? Have you found any tactics that work effectively to convince yourself of the truth? I find the more I ruminate about a phantom belief, the more genuine it seems and the more likely I am to give in to my urge to wash whatever I think has been contaminated. Thanks for any advice you can give.

This post has been thanked 2 times. 17 July 2014 - 14:42

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Well, as soon as the thought hits I immediately ignore it and think of it as just sort of background noise. This OCD is so sneaky! I find that if I do that, I seem to forget what that thought may have been. I have to remove myself from the situation and move on to something else. This has only come with medication & therapy. When I was in a state of high anxiety, that is when it seemed to scream at me. On one occassion, I was able to shake it off and go to sleep, until the next morning when I started to ruminate and think about it again. That's when the compulsions began. This was a couple of months ago, and since my anxiety has lessened since then, I have been able to cope better with these irrational thoughts. The key is to sit with the anxiety without using the compulsions. The longer you practice sitting with the anxiety, the less the thoughts will intrude. I'm sure you already know this, but our fear response, tricks our ocd into believing that these thoughts are a threat, thus creating more and more of these thoughts. Although I already know all of this myself, I've always wondered if anyone has had a similar experience. My "thoughts" are different from yours, but I think that no matter the "theme" it all boils down to the same crappy disorder. It just uses whatever we fear and twists it, using its same sneaky tricks in every aspect of ocd. I hope you are having a great day today, Goofy!  

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