Ever scared you will lose control without knowing?

12 May 2019 - 16:45

Profile Image
Forum User
Join date: Mar 2019
Thanks: 15

My new fear is that I will lose control without my knowledge.. basically I believe I suffer from pocd and I was doing fine today. Had my attractions back to guys my age again and was able to see young ones and felt nothing so today was really good!

However weird situation, I was on discord (it's like a gaming website) on my phone. And basically there's this chat room. It shows your profile picture and then the text next to it. And basically I noticed someone profile pic was a young one (they arnt young it was just a picture of themself when they were young). And basically I freaked out because I realised I held my thumb over the photo and was brushing my thumb up and down the phone slowly. I didn't realise what I was doing until one second later and I went bright red and panicked! Why did I do it over this pic and not no-one else's? I knew I still had some anxiety over seeing young ones still but I didn't realise what I was doing until straight after. It's like my mind forcefully made me do that weird action without my knowledge. And now I'm terrified because it's not what I want at all but my body made me do it without realising what I was doing until a few seconds later.. Is my body trying to tell me I'm like this secret p? I felt faint after I realise what I done and I didn't like it nor did I want it..

Sorry if this sounded really weird and unusual, but this gave me another spike... I wish I would go back to normal again..

13 May 2019 - 15:03

Profile
Forum User
Join date: Mar 2019
Thanks: 15

Anyone please?

13 May 2019 - 17:22

Profile
Forum User
Join date: Apr 2015
Thanks: 7

Just put all thoughts about this to one side and let it lie . You are over analysing what you think happened . The fact that you have come to the forum and posted shows that you are giving this your focus . As long as OCD has your focus it will continue to take it . Step aside from your thoughts 

13 May 2019 - 18:25

Profile
Forum User
Join date: Mar 2019
Thanks: 15

Hi thanks for this, but yet again a new fear has emerged... now everytime I see a young one i get really calm and enjoy their company??? But when I see someone attractive as an adult or I think about one of my crushes, I feel really ill and get mild headaches?? I was having a sexual fantasy with one of my crushes recently and it made me feel Ill, headaches, sweaty.... is this likely because Im just overwhelmed with what's been going on the past 2 months? Will it be likely my attraction to guys my age will come back again soon? This has been making me depressed lately..

Reply to this topic