Advice for a mum during lockdown

15 July 2020 - 8:57

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I’m new to this forum and looking for advice. My 12 year old daughter told me she thought she had OCD a couple of months ago. She is now on week 6 of CBT therapy but still struggling. I think being isolated and out of school is giving her so much time to think it has sent her OCD into overdrive. She thinks that bad things will happen to people she loves if she doesn’t tap, switch a switch or count. I’m looking for advice from other parents who have been through this? My daughter has closed up since having therapy, as though she thinks we don’t understand so no point in talking to us but she us opening up to her therapist. Any advice on how best to handle this would be appreciated. 

This post has been thanked 1 time. 15 July 2020 - 10:58

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Hi Mrs Toffee,

 

Sorry to hear you and you're daughter are going through a difficult time. It's always difficult seeing a love one go through this especially when its difficult for people without OCD to understand if they haven't had it themselves. Does this therapist have a good understanding of OCD? It's still quite a misunderstood anxiety disorder so important to make sure they're getting the right therapy. CBT is definitely a good help with OCD recovery, but not the only element needed. Working on unconditional self acceptance and disputing irrational beliefs is also important.

In difficult times, I want to hopefully give you some hope. People that recover from OCD will often have learnt a much better outlook on life than they would ever had done had they not been through the OCD.

15 July 2020 - 22:07

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Hello Mrs Tofffee

I am sorry that about  daughter is suffering from OCD.  My OCD started when I was very young, in fact I can't really remember life without it.  Then though, there was no help available and noone really understood the condition then.

It is good that she is getting therapy.  Has the therapist mentioned ERP which is usually used along with CBT for OCD (so many TLC's - three letter acronyms!)  I am currently undergoing ERP and it is the best thing I have ever done.  I can honestly say I feel I am on the road to recovery at last.  

There are lots of self help books.  OCD for Dummies is good and has a section for parents and family members to help understand and give help.

Her OCD is similar to mine in that I feel bad things will happen to loved ones if I don't do certain compulsions.  It is so difficult because although logic tells you it doesn't make sense, you just cannot chance it.  And the anxiety you feel if you are prevented from doing so is really high.  Your daughter may not have closed up because she wants to, but feels that something will happen if she does talk about it.  Not saying this is the case but  OCD can get to you from all angles.  Try to be patient with her.  Telling her to stop tapping etc. is not going to help, in fact it makes the anxiety worse.

Just be there to support her, especially if she has ERP.  It is a matter of exposing yourself to everything you dread, but the more you do it the more the anxiety goes down.

I hope she gets the help she needs soon.  She is lucky she is young and can hopefully nip it in the bud or at least learn to manage it   Good luck to you all..

16 July 2020 - 15:59

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Thanks for replying to my post. In the last couple of days I have read up quite a lot about OCD and after a couple of gentle attempts to talk to my daughter about it she finally started to open up. She was worried that she was burdening me by telling me about her troubles. he also said that because she has hidden it for so long she didn't feel like she wasn't opening up because that has just been normal for her. 

I have ordered a couple of books and I have explained to my daughter that we both need to accept this into our lives and learn to live with it. She has been struggling to accept that she has it and still struggles to say it out loud. I really appreciate the advice from others. We have a long road ahead but I do hope that by working on it from being 12 should make it easier for her in the long term. 

@OCD helper I love your comment that it could give her a better outlook on life, I hope you are correct.

This post has been thanked 1 time. 16 July 2020 - 19:44

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Hello Mrs Toffee,  I am glad your daughter has started to open up to you.  I know exactly how she feels about burdening others.  Also you can feel that people will think you are rediculous because you know yourself it doesn't make sense.

If your daughter would like to discuss anything with a fellow sufferer, please feel free for her to private message me. I would hate for her to go through what I went through.

Good luck with everything.

This post has been thanked 1 time. 27 July 2020 - 13:23

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We are totally supporting you and I swear everything is gonna be fine after all, sending you good vibes only

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