Ocd And Me

OCD and Me

An interrogation of the mind, body and soul.
A prison sentence, without parole.
An overcast cloud, about to downpour.
A constant shadow, impossible to ignore.

A web of lies, torment and pain,
Enough intrusive thoughts to turn anyone insane.
Targeting everything I enjoy and the ones I love,
Proving it very difficult for me to rise above.

The turmoil unfolding in my head,
Years of depression, heartbreak and dread.
A disturbing secret, painful to bare,
Longing for help but unable to share.

This burden I carry, day and night,
Becomes such a struggle for me to fight.
Avoiding triggers to ease the pain,
To feel less anxious, to feel more sane.

Little did I know, this was keeping OCD at bay,
With the anxiety increasing day by day.
I find myself trapped in this whirlwind of doubt,
So many questions and no way out.

Some days too fearful to go for a walk,
Some days too upset to even talk.
Unable to be happy, to love and to succeed,
Less of a want and more of a need.

A love lost and no one to trust,
To seek help is a definite must.
A trip to the doctors and therapy to follow,
150mg of Sertraline for me to swallow.

An online forum to share many worries and fears,
I wish I found sooner instead of suffering 8 years.
I've gained some friends who support me every day,
Who have been through it all and know what to say.

I continue to deal with this disorder, now 24.
The thoughts I've learnt not to question, but to ignore.
As much as OCD has dictated and controlled me,
Without it, I wonder, who would I truly be?

Sapphire Gill