So Ive been to CBT and it really has helped. But last week has been horrible. I had/tried to have some normal/age appropriate fantasies and yet sometimes really bad images came into my head, both confusing and upsetting, I cant understand why they would come into my head (sometimes I was dreary/half asleep, but still awake).
So, this is going to sound crazy. Im in my very late 20s. A friend posted a throwback photos on Facebook of them at 18/19 and I began to worry as I momentarily found it attractive. I fretted but eventually realised maybe it was ok if they were 18, as long as I wasn't deliberately going out to look at it (which I wasn't). But I kept worrying ... I couldn't get the image out of my head and worried I'd become aroused. I even checked the date to make sure (sounds creepy I know but I was looking at the pics again to make sure they were over 18, not for enjoyment).
So I've had POCD in various bouts. Now I'm worried cause I saw a picture of someone as a scantily clad 18 year old (not deliberately seeked out I might add) and worried that I find attractive. I mean, I would never deliberately look at it but the image keeps coming bad to me and I feel horrible and perverse that I could find it attractive. FYI I'm in my late 20s, if I was 20/21 I'd say fair enough but...
The fact that you are posting here and so concerned suggests you're a good person. OCD and the mind can be tricky when it comes to false sense of attraction. Believe I've suffered there! You're clearly a good person so stop punishing yourself and enjoy life.
I think that's part of OCD, wanting to be perfect but never being so. Which nobody is or can be. Do your best, thoughts done define you. I can certainly relate but now I try tell myself that's just OCD talking.