Hi I have religious themed ocd, please read and please please help, is this normal in OCD?
I'm worried, nobody is replying.
OK here it is -
I got to a point where I felt that OCD couldn't trick me.
I have had intrusive thoughts for years and one day I realised I cannot control them!
My mind immediately went on to the next thing, what if you 'spoke' the bad thought aloud? Like that person online you read about once...they weren't sure if they spoke under their breath?
I have been worried for so long that whatever OCD throws at me I start to believe until I no longer know if what I'm worried or guilty over actually happened. It spirals from a moment in time. Its insane.
I've seen it with other worries and realised ok this is OCD trying to mess with me.
But this one...it won't go.
My current obsession is this and only this.
"Worried that I would speak a bad intrusive thought under a breath and not know, therefor be doomed because it refers to a line in the Bible"
Everything else fades off. This doesn't.
Hi I'm sorry for posting a zillion times over the same old same old.
I don't enjoy it I promise. Its the only way to cope for me which is just a nightmare as it never stops.
I have just decided to say this one last thing. From now on I will have to try to take advice, or post without ruminating, just with progress i hope
I don't see myself recovering at the moment but when my cbt starts I will update you on it.
So I let my guard down for a moment during my OCD battle...
I am too stuck on repeat.
Its been over 7 years and I blame myself for a wrong reaction (or I feel it was Wrong) now I go over and over and over the same moment to see if I spoke something aloud. Even when it's illogical OCD still remains. I am tormented and exhausted.