For as long as I can remember (8 years or so when I developed the condition) I have ruminated over past mistakes. I am a Christian so I have battled with thoughts of hell, absolution etc but I feel the need to confess to god and pray for repentance for those mistakes. Surely that is the right solution to absolve my guilt?As a child I did sexual things with a same-sex family friend and I haven't been able to let go as I feel like it means I am bisexual or gay and was a shameful, illegal thing to do.
I find myself doubting whether I really have a severe case of OCD as I (quite fortunately) don't have daily struggles with functioning normally. I have days where I just want to burst out crying at how bad I feel but usually I can handle it. I want to ask how you deal with ruminating on past events?
Unfortunately I learnt the hard way about false memories induced by alcohol. The first time I got really drunk I remember going home in an uber and everything up to that point but as usual, my mind went to the worst place and somehow convinced myself for months that I was raped and now pregnant. This is definitely ridiculous to even write but I think we can all understand here.