My obsessive compulsive disorder is referred to as Harm OCD. Initially i did not know there was a name for it. I would have these horrible thoughts, images of myself stabbing someone or pushing someone down the steps. Immediately, i would feel sick to my stomach, disgusted at the thought or image and fearful of why the thought or image had appeared and what it meant. i became fearful that I was going crazy, that I was possibly a psychopath. I would try to block out the thoughts, push them away. Eventually the thoughts became more frequent and intrusive. I would also find myself consumed with random meaningless thoughts that I couldn't get out of my head. Once I got stuck thinking about a dumb joke i heard at church and i felt compelled to tell people about it, although i didn't want to. I imagined myself blurting it out uncontrollably and feeling embarrassed, awkward, uncomfortable. then came the compulsion. If I was going to blurt it out uncontrollably, I needed to find a way to explain it, that wouldn't sound so weird, so socially awkward, etc.